@livingnBoston: NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?
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@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters
@krissywillbretz: Dear bill collectors, if you want me to answer the phone, instead of "no caller ID" try something like "free shoes"
@CheryeDavis: When I was a kid I liked my Jack in the Box...But now I prefer my Jack in the Bottle.
@JermHimselfish: Me: And then, for absolutely no reason, they changed the stars to hearts! We were all so mad Syrian Refugee: omg please send me back