@livingnBoston: NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?
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@ilovepie84: I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled "fountain of youth" right next to him.
@teacup_giraffe: I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women.
@_Kim_Jongun: For the last time, I don't have any secret prison camps. Anyone who doesn't believe me will be sent to a secret prison camp.
@Book_Krazy: Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch