@WilliamAder: North Korea claiming they test fired a big rock at Russia.
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@BooFricketyHoo: I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door.
@Kyle_Lippert: A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond "Could this night get any worse?" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth
@SonOfCha: Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell "SURPRISE YOU'RE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND"
@WheelTod: "First gay marriage. What's next - people marrying dogs?!" *nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend