@WilliamAder: North Korea claiming they test fired a big rock at Russia.
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@midnightwhale: "OPEN THE DOOR IT'S THE POLICE" who is it? "POLICE" what is a police *cops start whispering* "how does he not know what a police is"
@ojedge: [packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen
@RunwayDan: Sorry I embarrassed you when I tried to draft Smaug, but I totally misunderstood the concept of a Fantasy football league.
@DeanB15: I think the only job requirement you need to become a TSA agent, is to know how to do a really good eye roll while you're chewing gum.