@TheTweetOfGod: North Korea shows that you don't need religion to be crazy.
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@on_the_fritz_17: "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is beautiful to hear in a children's classroom - but not at the site of a plane crash.
@Tups13: I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly.
@XplodingUnicorn: 7-year-old: What's your favorite color? Me: I don't know. 7: I thought you went to college.
@LostInAisle3: It never fails: whenever I'm at a crime scene, analyzing blood splatter and bullet trajectories, someone always assumes I'm a CSI.