@badbanana: North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there's someone for every un.
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@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
@lovemydogduck: I WAS LIKE AND HE WAS LIKE AND I WAS LIKE AND SHE WAS LIKE (The speech impediment of the 21st century)
@gojarbe: *spills water on pants* ok don't let anyone think you peed your pants "hey what happ--" MY WATER BROKE, GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL