@NikiWithIssues: Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it.
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@BackrowSeats: Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off.
@thepunningman: wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen
@Jmboyd58: When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread all over my bedroom...so my wife can clean up after me one more time.