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@BriarSlyMalice: Not now brain...
...this is a job for stupidity.
@iamspacegirl: friends who just got married:
We were kind of hoping you'd stick to the registry.
me *crestfallen*: you don't like the jukebox of screams?
@neiltyson: A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, "Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."
@trojansauce: [watching lion king]
TIMON: hakuna matata
ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries
TIMON: it means no worries
@NotthatAdamWest: Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered
@DavidKrap: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.