@Tw1tter_K1tten: Not only did I find 5 grey hairs on the top of my head but they were also sticking straight up. So....I'm transforming into Albert Einstein.
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@Cidisn: *turns around in chair dramatically* Hello... *chair turns around again* ...I've been expecting you... *again* ..., Repair-Man.
@truegritrumble: (At Kentucky Derby) ME: I'd like to enter my horse for the race. EMPLOYEE: Sir, that's a cheetah. ME: *slyly passes him a burrito* Or is it?
@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.