@JillBidenVeep: Not pictured: Joe waiting outside the door in his karate uniform ready to spring into action.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
@RxitWounds: *Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were "a waste of money" & "clearly meant for a large child" now?!
@iTomFoolery: How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.
@ThinkingSavage: I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change.