@davidschneider: Not saying it's wet out there but the animals are lining up two by two.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhosTheresa: I could've had a kid with a heroin addiction but Noooo. Instead my kid wants to join a Christian rock band.
@moose_chocolate: "So you spend 6 bucks on a beverage that has no booze in it on purpose?" -me to everyone at Starbucks.
@oldmanweldon: I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself.
@KeetPotato: [at interview] "ok 1st question you're on a submarine you find a dog, what do you call him" umm "..." subwoofer? "welcome to the navy seals"