@Whateverfitsme: Not sure if my cooking skills have improved or taste buds have adapted.
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@ericsshadow: [phone rings in 1984] "Eric get the phone" Hello? "Tell em I'm not home." She's not home. "Ask who it is." My mom wants to know who this is.
@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(
@markleggett: I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET.