@Mike_Bianchi: Not sure if this girl I'm talking to online is real, so on our first date I'm gonna bring an image captcha for her to solve.
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@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@arealliveghost: my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called "good"
@JRobb773: I'm a very honest person except when HR asks if I'm the one trying to weaponize the pigeons outside my office.
@AmberTozer: If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this