@JennyJohnsonHi5: Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, "If only I could hear this."
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@NicestHippo: [religion conference] BUDDHA: What's your opener? JESUS: "God loves you." You? BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn’t see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.