@Brianhopecomedy: Not sure why me wife is only mad at me. My 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
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@senorwinces: Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.
@KimJongSean: The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed
@kelkulus: Apparently on Facebook you can "like" that someone "liked" something. I just liked the movie "Inception", and now we wait.
@DannyZuker: Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class.