@robdelaney: Not to be a Scrooge, but if you play or even hum along with Christmas music before December 10, you should be sent to a concentration camp.
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@smithsara79: Me: *mouth full* These instant mashed potatoes your sister sent us are awful Him: Those are my mom's ashes! Me: *adding salt* That makes more sense
@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect just changed "I'm wise" to "I'm wide" so I should probably put down this donut.
@beefman138: 3 : Daddy, can we watch Frozen? Me : Sorry, darling. We can't watch Frozen in the summer because all the characters will melt.
@Michael1979: VERY ANNOYED. My enemy keeps playing Hulk Hogan's theme song b4 I enter rooms. People then expect Hulk Hogan & are disappointed when it's me