@bossy_boots99: Not to brag but both my kids are from the same dad
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@TheFaldor: Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides? So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
@brendohare: Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning
@McGrumpenstein: Noah, surrounded by a million pieces & trying to make sense of his IKEA Arke pictogram instructions, feels the first drop of rain. Shit.