@bossy_boots99: Not to brag but both my kids are from the same dad
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@E_lok44: One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous
@emmatheist: Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned.
@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.