@minnie_in_pink7: Not to brag, but I can cure a man of having a thing for me in five minutes flat.
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@LifeUnPinterest: As a parent, you learn to accept you can't run away from your problems. They will find you. And they will demand fruit snacks.
@ibid78: -Joe's coming over. "Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]
@botandy: google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law