@minnie_in_pink7: Not to brag, but I can cure a man of having a thing for me in five minutes flat.
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@curlycomedy: You're invited to my Oscar party! The theme is movie star cuisine which means there won't be any food.
@JoshuaFlail: My Pops told me that you can't go around trying to save everyone. They have to save themselves. He was a terrible lifeguard.
@SamuelHLowe: - We buried my mother-in-law yesterday. - Sorry to hear that. When did she die? - My guess would be sometime this morning.