@TheBoydP: Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation...
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@revious: My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole
@Sickayduh: Hey girl are you a Sony Pictures movie because I wanna [end of joke redacted due to foreign pressure]
@_NTFG_: Of course I'm English. I'm the retard convict cousin you shipped off to Australia back in the day.