@TheBoydP: Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nice_mustard: dear teenage me, it's the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don't kill yourself it's actually pretty fun
@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?
@iAmDelFreaky: Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.