@Sir_Strange: Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
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@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great
@Freudianscript: When someone tells you to "get a Life," just take theirs. They'll be happy you took their advice, and you'll be happy they're dead.
@WheelTod: If I'm guilty of anything it's only of loving too much, insider trading, public indecency, treason, arson, jaywalking, piracy & cannibalism.