@brunopieroni: Not to jinx this, but last time there was a highly anticipated London wedding on TV, the groom said Rachel's name instead.
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@DiscoCanadian: [I emerge from the bushes covered in blood] Director: CUT! For the last time I said mud! Where do you keep getting all this blood from?
@joejwest: MAN: What are you doing? ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing MAN: No way will- SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]
@CallMeMrBigs: I'm not looking for the woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey. I'm looking for the one that finds it boring.