@brunopieroni: Not to jinx this, but last time there was a highly anticipated London wedding on TV, the groom said Rachel's name instead.
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@eyeswidebutt: [dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad
@WGladstone: "She's got legs. She knows how to use them." "So she's ambulatory then?" "... I guess?" "And is that really all you're looking for?"
@CheryeDavis: Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
@ninetek: If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German