@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box
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@ka_waltz: every cat falls into one of the following categories: • looks like it knows how to use a sword but refuses to teach you • looks like it just finished eating an éclair
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm 99% sure the plane Harrison Ford was in is from the Amelia Earhart exhibit at the Smithsonian.
@nbadag: HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home