@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box
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@ShoutingGoddess: You hurt the feelings of a person who was once the crush of a person who was once a friend of mine so you're a BAD person. ~ internet logic
@A_New_Chapter_: I will not kill my coworkers I will not kill my coworkers I will not.... Maybe just one...
@platinum2000: "How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?" *I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.
@noogscorner: Apple just announced a 20-year plan to develop technology that actually allows grid-like manual organization of Home screen app icons.