@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes"
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@nayele18maybe: Shoutout to the toothpaste stain on my shirt for making it appear that I had a WAY better time this morning than I actually did.
@Book_Krazy: Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:...
@Reverend_Scott: [rubs magic lamp] GENIE: You get 3 wishes "Anything?" GENIE: No wishin for more wishes "I wish for more genies" GENIE: I don't like you
@GrandadJFreeman: There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!