@Firawesome: Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
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@Sickayduh: MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl
@foodfacenow: Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus
@phalguy: 10: What does AF mean? After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask? 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.
@WhatsHerFace33: Friend - You smell nice, what's that perfume you're wearing? Me - Fear and fabric softener.