@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
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@3sunzzz: Neighbor: Your dog barks a lot. Me: Isn't your kid the one that plays her recorder outside every summer? N: So? M: So, I can't help you.
@CulturedRuffian: Sorry I asked if your grandparents were part of the Halloween display at your house.
@SteveSuckington: [text] 11:56 pm Her: whatcha doin? Me: taking a shit 12:03 am Her: whatcha doin now? Me: same shit different day