@just1fool: Nothing much worse than being forced to listen to someone else's music and not be able to tell them their taste is shit.
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@seamussaid: Son: can I go? Dad: storm coming, tornado warnings Son: yeah I know Dad: wait for your brother to get home, he can continue the bloodline
@RunJeffreyRun: I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula.