@juneohara65: Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.
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@swiftenhaal: Carp we hit an iceberg! What am I herring? This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me? You're so shellfish Fin
@CooIStepDad: [running from cop] *cop catches me* "Get on the ground or I'll taze ya" *pulls jellyfish from pocket* "Look they were all out of tazers"
@TawaNicolas: I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me.
@Phook75: Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures