@juneohara65: Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.
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@jonnysun: this is stick *dog wags tail* this is branch. its made of sticks *tail wags faster* this is tree. it makes sticks *dog helicopters into sky*
@meganamram: I never give homeless people drugs because I know they're just going to trade them for food
@DadInUtah: Me: What are you doing in your pajamas still? 3 year old: Eating frosting. Me: Fair enough.