@Sarcasmo718: Nothing says "I'm unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
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@causticbob: Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?
@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.
@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie