@Sarcasmo718: Nothing says "I'm unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS
@orange_rhymer: Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*