@Bearslietoo: Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Gooooats: Me: you're going to bed in 5 minutes. Toddler: No. Twenty minutes! Me: Ok. *puts him to bed in 2 minutes because he has no concept of time*
@JillianKarger: [picking out clothes] ah yes, what lovely garment shall i stain with food on this fine day