@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.
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@jordan_stratton: I don't want to be cremated when I die. I want my body thrown on a group of unsuspecting, cocky teens in a haunted house.
@samiam604: *me at Target* "Hey baby, you want some of this?" *offering to share my chocolate Twizzlers* Her: *calls security* ~Flirting is so hard