@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.
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@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
@Jenny4ashley: [speed dating] Me: Have you ever choked someone? "No I would never do something like that" Me: Next
@Book_Krazy: Him: You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you darlin? Me: HOW DARE Y... Wait, did you just call me darlin
@CelebrityGaucho: [Spelling bee, to clench victory] "O,P... (hesitates) A,W,E,S,O,M,E." Judges? (Opossum judges whispering for a bit) Correct.