@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.
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@ddsmidt: Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says "oh, you want to see crazy?" Reassure her that you do not.
@ddsmidt: Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
@rainerfm: I once watched a mime choke to death on a street corner and everyone applauded. For a couple of reasons.
@iwearaonesie: wife: I TOLD you not to try a 360 with the grocery cart me: It was really nice when everyone started clapping after they saw I was ok though