@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.
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@LuvPug: My son just hugged me. Him: You smell good. Me: Like what? Him: *sniffs* You smell like love. Me: *heart melts* Lets go to Toys R Us.
@GrowlyGrego: *walks out of prison, a free man. *guards shouting from gate "From! At! For! With!" What? "Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition"
@CJhooray: "Damn do you have a wizard wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;)" *pulls wand from pocket* "I haven't been happy in years"
@Girliegurll: I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now.