@Phook75: Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
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@ThaJawn: I haven't been this disappointed since I found out that spider monkeys are not half spider half monkey
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker
@jinkee: if you're hiding from a deranged killer and forget to put your phone on silent, at least make the ringtone the benny hill theme.
@Crunk_Jews: So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, "a way out" isn't the right answer.