@TheKenyan_: Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?
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@thejessbess: People are like, "Jess, can you give me some advice?" & I'm like, "K, don't get kidnapped."
@goodhairperson: I've decided I want a sad funeral. None of this upbeat "celebration of life" shit. I want sobbing, ppl vomiting w grief, at least 2 suicides
@Smethanie: A really effective car insurance ad would just show pics of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes and say: Because these girls have licenses.
@Parentpains: Apparently "I'll break your god damn legs" isn't the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.