@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RogueGod: After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t.
@stephenjmolloy: [First date] Sarah: I'm a twin. Me: Do you know what each other are thinking? *meanwhile across town* Sue: Sarah's date isn't going well.