@BuckyIsotope: Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records.
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@the_gramble: Coworker: Do you have good taste in music? Me: I can only taste things I put in my mouth Both of us thinking: I work with an idiot
@QuickandSisi: If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side. That someone will go away. It works. Trust me, I just tried it this morning.
@OutOfLeftField_: I told someone my name and they said, "That's unusual. You don't hear that every day." Actually, I do.