@Hellaphantitis: Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel
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@ISOremarkable: if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of "ice, ice, baby."
@weinerdog4life: If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom.
@SmartassChef: Most of my one night stands happened because they knew they would get a fabulous breakfast the next morning.