@Hellaphantitis: Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel
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@daneZie: My biggest fear is dying alone. Not really stoked to die with people either. You know, dying in general doesn't exactly sound like pancakes.
@TheRealRHB: I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory
@Marlebean: It's like the only thing my kids learned from Snow White is that fruit is horribly poisonous.