@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
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@QwertyJones3: FRIEND: Thanks for letting me stay here while I'm in town ME: No problem FRIEND: Do u have a Waffle House nearby? ME: No they're all wood
@rzarosco: "We should definitely let dolphins go into space instead of monkeys" said one scientist obviously not a dolphin dressed up as a scientist
@iwearaonesie: 9: I'm going to live with you guys forever me: I don't ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again