@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
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@Black__Elvis: My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan.
@mattgallo123: The cool thing about driving 15 mph in a school zone is that it makes it so much easier to text.
@girlontapas: Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them.