@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
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@seandunn76: Ever notice how a piece of lint on a sheet can look like a scary insect? Unrelated, is anyone selling a mattress? Mine is on fire.
@FattMernandez: I saw a car with "Wash Me" written on it, so I set it on fire. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow cars to become sentient!
@junejuly12: Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out
@TheToddWilliams: [mosquitoes] MORT: I think I'm a vampire MARV: We all love blood, Mort MORT: But I can't see myself in this mirror MARV: That's a leaf