@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
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@moxieblogger: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b
@patnspankme: Dentist: Mike, you really don't need to get undressed when you get in the chair. Me: Oh, no, it's no problem really. I don't mind.
@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.