@MarlonBrandNO: Oceanography is all about current events
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@ericsshadow: If you stand next to a fatter person you look better. That's why I work at Burger King.
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!
@ItsAndyRyan: The English language lacks a word to mean "To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them".
@KevinFarzad: Before college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but now I'm confident I have no idea what I'm doing.