@MarlonBrandNO: Oceanography is all about current events
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@retardedwriter: Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor
@squirrel74wkgn: [on first date] Let me get that for you. *holds door open* "May I help you, sir?" Yes, my lady would like your finest soft taco supreme…
@Brianhopecomedy: I've tried everywhere so I can confirm that there is no snooze button on a baby.
@AsgardianRose: Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?