@m1ss_chief: Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest
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@andylevy: "Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to" - The President of the United States
@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.
@WittySassBasket: *sharing a box of cereal with the cat* Me: Frosted Lucky Charms Cat: They're magically deliciOH, uh MEOW