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@m1ss_chief: Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest
@DillDoes: "How's your sexual history?"
Well doc, if i had to summarize it in one word it would be "deletable"
@donni: Might get a Gatorade logo tattoo to symbolize my contempt for thirst.
@thenatewolf: *I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter*
Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours.
@AmberDonn: Pretty unfair how gargoyles just monopolized rooftop perches.
@ddsmidt: The person with duct tape holding most of their car together always has the right-of-way.