@Jason_maybe: Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
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@SondraDeeMe: [first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.
@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
@Elifcello: I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER.
@BigRadMachine: I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough.