@JustCallMeFrank: Of course he's going to get re-elected, because once you go Black...
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@jwoodham: HOW TO ROB A BANK: (1) Walk in and start talking about your study abroad experience. (2) Everyone's asleep now. Grab the money.
@DaddyJew: Me: *passes out pizza* 3: no fair, you have 4 slices and I only have 2 Me: *cuts his 2 slices into 6 slices* 3: wow, thank you
@SteveSuckington: If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?