@DaddyJew: Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?
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@SteveKoehler22: Got my son a bumper sticker "Proud Child of a Twitter Dad" ... and now he proudly displays it on the inside of his trunk.
@myonlymizztake: Told my doctor I would lose 10 pounds in three months. That was three months ago and now I have 18 hours to lose 9¾ pounds.