@DaddyJew: Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?
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@closetoclassy: Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair.
@AmateurIdiot: If I insisted on getting my kids to bed by 7:00 every night, I'd have to start their bedtime routine just after breakfast.
@StellaGMaddox: I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won't stop talking to me and I think I've made a horrible mistake.