@DaddyJew: Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?
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@ieatanddrink: I didn't post that copyright notice thing on my Facebook and I've already seen SIX of MY photos of me with my casseroles in BMW commercials
@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"
@4ScoreN20Bowls: It is possible to chew and swallow $80 of shrooms in the length of time it takes the cop to walk from his car to yours.
@Reverend_Scott: It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,