@DaddyJew: Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: *tied up* Guy: *hits my kneecap* M: I'm not a rat! G: Bring in her sworn enemy! G2: *tosses Rubik's Cube at me* M: Oh god no! I'll talk!
@SteveKoehler22: Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : "Come again ?" ( not hearing ) Blonde: "Nope, Just mustard this time"
@anerdonfire2: Apparently being a 45 year old man sitting on Santa's lap demanding the heads of your enemies is just too much for some malls.