@1evilidiot: Of course it's you. if it was me I wouldn't even bring it up.
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: One thing I've learned about this world is that there are always going to be people who want to change you. -babies
@Home_Halfway: Accidentally used AXE shampoo to wash my cat the other day and now he's boxing strays and impregnated 17 dogs
@AmnesiaRose: *knocks over the 17 Starbucks cups on her nightstand *answers her alarm clock, "hello?"
@MsCarlissima: To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell "YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" into my phone, then slam down the receiver.