@pixelatedboat: Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave's body
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@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.
@lizard_wizard77: “i cnat believe this!” he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. “i would expect this from the others but not u” he says to 1 specific bee
@DranoRaul: I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
@ArfMeasures: HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please