@ceejoyner: OFFICER DOWN I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I'm fine just down for whatever. Dancing or something fun.
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@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.
@VanGobot: *bank robbery* ROBBER: nobody moves, nobody gets hurt! ME: *gazing tearfully at a pic of my long distance gf* too late
@EvilSchwartzie: The police get mad at you if you try to marry a squirrel. Even if you're pretty sure it's a girl squirrel.