@AaronFullerton: "Oh, don't use that picture of me, honey. Please, I look so old in that one. You must have a better picture." -Whistler's Mother
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@Eightinchgoat: The next person to tell me I should quit smoking for New Years is gonna be responsible for me breaking this year's "no murder" resolution.
@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.
@itsa_talia: my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him.