@slimmy_shady: "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!Damn these thin walls. Don't know if my neighbors are having sex, praying or having a coronary.
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@SamGrittner: "WHAT DO WE WANT?!" "SELF-CONFIDENCE!" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*
@BrianIncognito: I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *
@zachreinert03: When my roommate won't wash the dishes I always leave a note'hey please do the dishes, because I will wash one knife & use it in your sleep'
@MoneypennyNaked: Me: Sorry, I can't tonight. I already made plans. Him: That's too bad. There's going to be open bar and-- Me: What time should I be there?