@slimmy_shady: "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!Damn these thin walls. Don't know if my neighbors are having sex, praying or having a coronary.
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@david8hughes: [sees kid crying at the mall] R u lost? [kid nods, wiping tears] Well [blows cigarette smoke in kids face] looks like u live at the mall now
@yayraptor: [dad training] TRAINER: im hungry ME: ok lets ea- TRAINER: [stares] ME: i mean-hey hungry im dad
@chewlongkok_: [On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]
@nakedlaughing: Tree: Bark Dog: {leaves}
@TheHyyyype: MOM: your friends smoke weed so now u do? ME: uh- MOM: if they jumped off a bridge, would u jump too? ME: guess it depends how high i was
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