@SoVeryBritish: "Oh hello, I didn't see you there!" - Translation: I have failed to avoid you
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@bmarked21: Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets.
@PaperWash: "I bought a new car!" Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay? "Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"
@ewfeez: [spelling bee] Your word is "coincide" -could u use it in a sentence? Sure: When the nickel murdered the penny it was a case of "coincide"
@jannable9: Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.