@slaughthie: "Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on," I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste.
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@LostCatDog: The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw.
@KeetPotato: date: [breaks 3 minute silence] "you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me" me: [trying to pick up my beer] "i can do it"
@DanMentos: just taught my 3yo to sing "if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands" and then laugh at the people clapping