@slaughthie: "Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on," I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste.
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@Steelers1972: You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born.
@robknepper: and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: I can’t run as fast as everybody else. Me: Why not? 3-year-old: I don’t have enough feet.
@TheTweetOfGod: American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?