@preawsaurus: oh, internet, you didn't even exist when this happened to me. every weekend.
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@ArfMeasures: [during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?
@LMGinTN: This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious.
@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.