@AdmiralAkbrown: "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" -every trip to the zoo, ever
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@GrowlyGrego: My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning.
@JackieMartling: A couple's having breakfast. He says, "Were you faking it last night?" She says, "No, I was really asleep."
@PaperWash: lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?