@AdmiralAkbrown: "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" -every trip to the zoo, ever
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@Sarcasmo718: Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.
@Kyle_Lippert: If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.