@SortaBad: "OH MY GOD YOU'RE A DOG HEY SMELL ME I'M A DOG TOO" - dogs
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@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.
@ColoChiver: Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?
@owlbacon: They should make realistic pregnancy test commercials. 2 best friends in a bathroom praying for a neg & celebrating w a shot & a happy dance